The institution of marriage is something special that has become a part of every society since the beginning of mankind.
It's a social, spiritual, or legal union of two individuals who usually start the life together with the intentions of spending the rest of their lives together.
People marry for many reasons, but mostly for the formation of a family unit, and for procreation, education and nurturing of children.
However, things do not always go as planned and intended.
Many married couples over time find themselves in a situation when there is no escape from the fact that the marriage is in trouble.
This is the time when those who believe in marriage counseling or therapy, start to consider it seriously, thinking of it as a last resort.
Marriage counseling is a process of counseling in which the counselor attempts to to recognize and better manage or reconcile troublesome differences and repeating patterns that are causing distress.
A discrete, professional service counseling has replaced the previously often used close friends or family members.
This offers a platform for discussion and resolution that offers less bias and more privacy.
Today, the counselor professionals believe that it is not right for a married couple to abandon their vows and forget the love that once had connected them together, just because of some character differences and human weaknesses.
They try to do everything they can in order to resolve situations for the best.
If couples have made up their mind to pursue marriage counseling, they must also understand that it can be either good or bad for them.
In spite of numerous advantages of counseling, some people still find fault with this kind of psychological strategy.
Opinions differ and no family members or friends should interfere with the decision making, it is only the couple themselves who have to make the final decision.
The first thing to start with before involving a professional is to make sure both individuals are willing to make the marriage work.
It is very important because if only one of the spouses truly wants the marriage to survive, then the idea is doomed to fail from the very onset.
Your first question should be directed to each other.
Are both of you truly committed to doing whatever needs to be done to salvage your relationship? The key advantage of the marriage counseling is that psychologists do not work with you according to certain set of rules.
Each is an individual case,.
The goal being to resolve different issues of each particular family.
Very often, having someone from the outside, especially a professional, will help you identify problems that you and your spouse failed to see or turned a blind eye to.
From this objective insight, both of you can learn better communication and you can really work toward fixing the core problems and not get bogged down by bickering about issues that could be readily resolved by dealing with the larger ones first.
Counseling can the minor everyday problems too.
Conflicts are often multi-layered.
Sometimes seeing the minor conflicts can reveal the unspoken, and possibly unrealized, problems lying deep inside the conflict.
When the underlying problems come out to the surface, it will be much easier to deal with them and solve the smaller issues.
Always remember that you should not hide any details from your marriage counselor.
Go in with an open mind and a readiness to answer difficult and personal questions.
Without this information, the counselor will not be able to help you resolve your problems and make your marriage successful.
The questions can range from personal habits to private life, as well as your preferences and dislikes.
There might be things that you will be uncomfortable to share with, but it is very important that you open up and do share.
Your time with your counselor is confidential.
Marriage counseling can be a lengthy process, it can take months, and in some cases even years.
It is essential that you have patience, the focus to your commitment and also make sure that you both are prepared to sacrifice some extra time in order to save your marriage.
Counseling can turn out to be very expensive depending on the duration of the therapy, however if spouses understand that the openness is key to their success and fast-tracking their therapy, the more chances of long-term success they ultimately have.
Marriage is all about compromise.
Compromise is always hard, no matter what the couples decide about marriage counseling, they need to know, first of all, how to deal with their problems.
Fixing a marriage is a huge, but rewarding task and could be one of the most important ones in the entire life.
Counseling can be a place to learn and understand how to do that, but should never be the last and only thing to count on in hope to save a failed marriage.
As always, you are the key.
The success or failure of counseling is contingent on both of you being strong, focused and open to working through your conflicts.