So you want to get your ex-girlfriend back.

I do understand, and I know what a tough time you are going through right now.  Being dumped is one of the most difficult situations to have to deal with in life, right up there with death and moving.

You need to learn to emotionally distance yourself at this time.  You have, in all likelihood, been acting too clingy or needy towards your girlfriend.

This is a huge turnoff for women - they do not, nor will they ever, like a guy who is not independent.

If a woman were to tell you the kind of guy she wants, she would say, "An independent, strong-minded man who takes care of his body and his health, has ambitions, and isn't afraid to initiate sex."

So right now, my friend, is the time you must work on yourself.  You must completely change how you think about women - and then, your ex-girlfriend will become interested in you once she's had a chance to see the new you.

But the new you must come before you can start a new relationship.

You must also escape a mindset of desperation.  You do not need your ex-girlfriend - or any woman, for that matter.

So don't allow your happiness to be determined by your ex-girlfriend.  I know you are hurting right now at the loss of her, but you must realize: security, and a strong man, are more important to any woman than "love".

Unfortunately, the more you show love and devotion to your ex girlfriend, the less likely she will be to see you as a tough guy who goes after what he wants - and that is what SHE wants in a man.

I am not suggesting you stop being a kind person.  It's just that when it comes to dating, women follow simple biological cues.  Men who were independent and didn't show too much love - which is interpreted as wimpiness - were more likely to prove strong mates, which then had higher reproductive potential. 

So yeah - when you do what you want without considering whether she approves of you or not, you will be hotter to her.  Plain and simple.  And that will take you way farther than having a great body or looks or anything like that.

So your step by step plan to get your ex girlfriend back is this:

1. Go no contact.
2. Change your mindset about the breakup. Become strong. Do what you want.
3. Stop caring about your ex's approval – you don't need it.
4. Meet her again somewhere neutral, maybe for coffee.
5. Don't talk about the breakup.