Your wife has cheated and you want to save your marriage but you don't know how you will ever be able to trust her again.
Yes, trust.
It's the one thing that you're not sure you'll be able to get back.
Why You Can't Trust Her You love her.
You want to be with her forever.
But trust her, no way.
It's hard.
How could you trust someone who said that she would never hurt you for as long as the both of you shall live.
The one person that was supposed to be with you, and only you, for the rest of your life.
And then, all of sudden, she is off, sleeping with another man.
Sharing her hopes and dreams with some man, that she didn't even know as well as she knows you.
A man that she didn't even have the same history as she has with you.
A man who may not even be as good looking as you.
It just doesn't make sense, does it.
Then to top it all off, she turns to you and says that she doesn't want to spend her life with him but instead wants to spend her life with you still.
Well, why in the world did she share her body, mind, and soul with him then? Trust someone who will do all that and then come back to you telling you that she loves you? Scary.
Why You Want to Trust Her But you love her and that is completely understood - she is your wife and she has been your wife for a long time - and you believe in the sanctity of marriage.
To married though, you'd like to believe that when she does on a business trip that she is really going on a business trip, and that when she going out with the girls that she going out with the girls.
It's going to be difficult to get to the point where you won't wonder what she is really up to when she away from you and you can't see her.
You'll always remember the time when she was with him, and telling you that she was with someone else or doing someone thing else.
How to Trust Her You will think about it but you won't react - this will be progress for you.
When you can hear her say that she is going on a business trip and you say, "Okay...
" and just feel okay and just remember the times that you suddenly felt sick to you stomach instead of feeling sick to you stomach - that will be when you are starting to start her again.
As time goes on, the thoughts will slowly wane.
You will think of those times when she deceived you less and less.
To the point that you won't think of them any more.
There may be something, like an instance infidelity on television that will spark a memory that may make you think if she is where she says she is but you won't react wildly, like you do now.
So, point blankly, how do you trust your wife after infidelity? You don't.
You just can't.
Trust comes with time and proof that she isn't cheating on you anymore.
Her actions are important during your recovery.
She can't go out by herself with her friends, on business trips and whatever else she needs to do during your recovery.
Plans needs to be made if she needs to go somewhere by herself so that you can go with her.
It will drive you insane if she has to go alone, with you thinking that she is being unfaithful to you again.
Trust will come with time and your wife needs to give you that time if she truly wants to make up for the tragedy she has caused.